Hands in the air if you are a snoozer! If you’re a pro snoozer, raise both your hands and feet. Aside from recommending a support group for you, we’d like to help. You’ll be happy to learn that there are different types of alarms perfectly suited for you; the kind that you cannot snooze. All in one voice say, “Yay!”
Let’s explore these legendary wake-up calls, shall we?
Babies are the best alarms ever created. Miraculously, they have an inborn alarm system that wakes them up at specific times of the day or night. The best part is that when they do get up, like most alarms, they make sure everyone within a 10-metre radius wakes up with them.
For some reason (so we’re told), the only people who remain immune to this alarm type are mokofied husbands. Pssst! Their secret is the cozy Moko mattress.
2. The smell of breakfast
Waking up to the aroma of breakfast just hits at a different angle. It could be your spouse whipping something up for you or your next-door neighbour whipping you awake with the sweet smell of pancakes.
Either way, you just cannot snooze it. It’s so irresistible that you have no choice but to leave you dear blankies to avoid drooling all over them.
3. Mama Plezdent Kingstone
“Anaye amka sasa ni Plezdent Kingstone!” Such is the kind of mockery you will get when you wake up late in an African mother’s house. But that’s on a good day. On most days, she’ll not hesitate to drag you out of bed if need be.
The best thing about this type of alarm is the authority it commands. You really wish you could snooze it but you can’t. The alarm is the boss and you have to obey its command – waking up immediately it goes off. In fact, you actually strive to wake up before it goes off.
4. Loud matatus (aka Pararira za Nganya)
If you’re looking to invest in a low-cost and super-efficient alarm clock, live close to a bus stop. Why? The loud hooting of matatus has no snooze button. The drivers and conductors are also early risers, who are dedicated to annoyingly waking you up so that they can drive you to work.
Don’t frown. When you think about it, it’s a really sweet gesture, lol😅. For the pro snoozers, we recommend areas around Eastlands, Nairobi. This is the home of the true Nganyas – the super pimped PSVs that blast the loudest music and even louder hoots.
The Missing Peace😉
You’re now enlightened with the best anti-snooze alarms. However, to avoid grumpy mornings full of endless snoozing, what you truly need is a good night’s sleep and to wake up feeling well-rested. Luckily for you, we have just the mattress for that.
Hurry and order your comfy heavy-duty Moko mattress, then make the most of the alarms listed above.
P.S. If all else fails and you are still late to work, we can hook you up with a mokofied apology card to give to your boss. You’re welcome:)